How to get rid of victim syndrome

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How to get rid of victim syndrome
How to get rid of victim syndrome
Anonim

Definition of the victim's syndrome in modern human psychology. The main causes of occurrence and symptoms by which you can identify its presence. Methods of treatment and preventive control of the presented pathology. Victim syndrome is one of the manifestations of personality disorder, which is characterized by the need for a fictitious external cause of a person's failure. The complex is manifested by the fact that a certain individual considers himself a victim of circumstances or negative actions of strangers. According to such thoughts, his behavior changes. Despite the absence of any apparent reason or threat, he inspires himself and others to the contrary.

Causes of victim syndrome

Husband's tough character
Husband's tough character

The victim syndrome in psychology today is given a special place. It is considered quite common and found mainly among female representatives. It was also found that there are no congenital variants of this disease. By inheritance, such a pathology does not have the property of being transmitted. In the development of the syndrome, risk factors play a certain role, which can directly or indirectly affect it. No single or main trigger has yet been identified. But even among a wide variety of reasons, several of the most probable ones can be distinguished:

  • Hereditary predisposition … Congenital pathology is not included in this category. We are talking about a tendency to the occurrence of mental illness in general. Often, when diagnosing such a syndrome, doctors trace similar violations in previous generations of a person. It is believed that a certain precariousness of the psyche is observed if any of the relatives has one.
  • Mental trauma … Such an impact occurs most often in early childhood, at a time when the emotional background is still practically not formed and is very vulnerable to external factors. It is any shock at this time that can lead to violations in the future. This often happens if the child is very sick or physically injured. At this moment, all relatives and parents try to express their regret and sympathy as clearly as possible. Over time, the causal factor is eliminated, but the attitude remains the same. The opinion that he is the poorest and most unfortunate has already been deposited in the child's brain. He continues to demand the same love and care, because he calls himself a victim of circumstances. And whatever happens in the future will be written off to the previous reason.
  • Excessive custody … Many parents worry too much about their children. Their desire to protect their child from all possible troubles turns into an obsession that turns the child into a mentally unhealthy person. Such children get used to the image invented by their mother more often, and subsequently cannot get rid of it. The feeling of being always small and unhappy remains for almost the whole life.
  • Family circumstances … In most cases, this factor affects women whose husbands are of a tough character. Due to this feature, their second halves have very difficult communication. Constant family quarrels and reproaches make such ladies victims of domestic violence.
  • Life-changing events … Our expectations are not always met and correspond to reality. Fate can dispose of completely differently than the person expected. And, for example, the promised increase may not happen. In such situations, people often take on the image of the victim of circumstance. They cannot soberly assess what happened, but only escalate the moment.

Manifestations of victim syndrome in humans

The girl is in a bad mood
The girl is in a bad mood

Such a pathological condition is accompanied by a whole large complex of various symptoms. For each person, it can include several completely different manifestations from this combination. But there are also those signs that unite this nosology. For example, a person very often shows genuine shyness and expresses surprise when receiving an award for something. These and many more signs distinguish people from the crowd, let's take a closer look at them:

  1. Denying your own defeats … This is common in the daily life of absolutely healthy people. But in the presence of such a syndrome, everything happens much more often. A person completely refuses to admit his guilt in any oversight. But on top of that, he also tries to find the culprit among other people. For all his shyness and indecision to express an opinion on this matter, he always has the courage.
  2. Self-centeredness … Such individuals are very fixated on their own reasoning. They are few or not interested in the opinion of the interlocutors or in an outside perspective. Even if such a person is asked to look at the situation in a different way, nothing will work. He will simply throw a tantrum, insisting on his decision. Or he may refuse, citing unnecessary and waste of time.
  3. Bad mood … These people are still those pessimists. In life, they see almost only bad things. Well, and with them negativity in every person. They constantly dream of some kind of conspiracy or set-up on the part of relatives and strangers. The thought that someone wishes them misfortune, troubles and many other tricky things never leaves. Even if a person fully behaves sincerely, he will still cause a storm of suspicion and negativity.
  4. Happiness in others … This sign is very noticeable and striking. People with this syndrome are constantly trying to convince their environment that everything in their life is much better. The obsessive opinion that one's own is always worse than someone else's, although strange, is there. Such a person sees outsiders' best homes, families, businesses, jobs, even the behavior of children. They constantly complain about the lack of luck, good luck, and always assure that the existing happiness is insufficient.
  5. Need for recognition … These people very much welcome respect and attention from the outside. Every action they take needs approval and praise. It really matters to them. If this does not happen for any reason, then the storm cannot be avoided. Immediately, an inferiority complex and thoughts about incompetence in this matter arise. They read to think that they did not do something, did something wrong, and only because of this they were not given their due.
  6. Constant complaints … A patient who has this syndrome is very fond of talking. But not about what is happening around, but only to blame fate. Today was a bad day, they pay little at work, these trousers are too small for me. These and thousands of phrases about everything that may not satisfy are synthesized every minute. In conversation, they mention almost every aspect of life and find a flaw in any. An interesting fact is that no matter how outsiders try to fix the situation, find any constructive solution, in the end everything will turn out to be bad anyway.
  7. Attempts to evoke pity … It would seem that there is nothing wrong with such an action. After all, who does not like taking care of a cold or some other condition. But here everything is a little bit different. This need is ongoing. Every minute they need the support of others, get tremendous pleasure from stories and some sad stories. And it doesn't matter at all what they might be about the life of a neighbor or girlfriend. What the interlocutor experiences, his attempts to regret, to express condolences nourish such patients, better than any emotions.
  8. Avoiding responsibility … This sign becomes noticeable even in early childhood, when children cannot admit their deeds and in every possible way try to throw the blame on someone else. Then they are still forgiven for this due to immaturity. But when an adult man does not want to get married for fear of being a support for someone, this causes a storm of negativity. Such people often even refuse a promotion at work, so as not to face a lot of responsibility. And this happens throughout life.
  9. Exaggerating negative results … A person with victim syndrome is known to those close to him for the presence of several more signs. After committing some not very good action, he is the very first one who always thinks about the consequences. Moreover, they are drawn in his head in the worst manifestations. He always voices that he will be caught, punished, it was impossible to do that, it is wrong. A whole bundle of thoughts does not leave his head even when the act does not threaten any reprisals and was completely harmless to the environment.
  10. Inability to refuse … Whatever request is made to such a person, he will always try to satisfy it. Even if it is unpleasant for him, it will still happen. Such people can rarely put their own interests above those of others. This is not because they underestimate themselves. They are terribly afraid that they will be offended, they will not want to talk or something else. This makes you commit even the actions you don't like.
  11. Stubborn independence … Despite the fact that these individuals are eager to help others always and everywhere, they do not want the same from others. They will refuse help even when they are sure that they need it. From the outside, it looks like stupid perseverance, but in fact, they really always try to do everything themselves. Such a motto leaves people without outside help in almost all difficult moments of life.
  12. Self-deprecation with the need for love … Such a very strange desire characterizes these individuals. They are great at coping with moments of self-flagellation and humiliation. We are always ready to act as a victim, even in cases where it is not needed. But they still want respect in return. People consider such barter to be fair. They see themselves on the good side and demand that others appreciate them, show love and care.

The described list of symptoms is very short, but quite correctly gives an idea of a person with victim syndrome. But do not forget that its manifestations can change depending on the individuality of a particular individual. Therefore, the set of features can be much larger and more varied.

Victim Syndrome Classification

Child bullying at school
Child bullying at school

Today there are many representatives of the described pathology. Such people are more common, they are getting closer and require special attention. Therefore, this nosology has been traced by many psychologists of our time. Their research made it possible to distinguish at once several of the most common types of victim syndrome in relationships:

  • Woman victim of violence … This case is not new to the present day. Today, many of the fair sex very often become hostages of such situations. This manifests itself in families where patriarchy rules. In this case, wives play the role of holy innocence, try to hide behind strong male shoulders and inevitably turn into pitiful ladies. They also justify the rigidity of the spouse in every possible way, citing a variety of and even stupid reasons.
  • The child is the subject of bullying … This kind of violence is also quite common. All this originates from an early age. Overly strict parents or abusive peers may be the culprits of this attitude. Any feature that can distinguish a child from others makes him vulnerable to such things. As a result of this constant attitude, people grow up with complexes and victim syndrome. They get used to this attitude and mentally build their character for it.
  • Man is the victim of a narcissist … Most often, women are exposed to this influence. It is they who often build relationships with men who are in love with themselves. Initially, everything proceeds very favorably, ideally. But a man with such a problem forces a woman to completely change herself and her life for him. It is also interesting that she, as a rule, wants it herself. Ladies easily get used to the loving husband, in every possible way indulge his behavior and justify in front of others.
  • Stockholm Syndrome … A similar condition was described at the end of the last century. During the robbery of the bank, the male invader took prisoner several people who were there. Due to the efforts of the police officers, everything ended well and only one thing remained strange. The hostages treated the robber very well during and after the incident. They supported in every possible way, justified the hopelessness of his situation and asked for pardon after everything. Whether this behavior was a mental response to stress or some kind of new reaction is still not known. But a similar attitude towards one's aggressor was noticed in all cases of this syndrome.

Ways to Deal with Victim Syndrome

The presented pathology cannot be considered the norm and requires mandatory outside intervention. In order for a person to stop being a hostage of his own psycho-emotional state, he needs to be provided with qualified assistance. First of all, you need to understand that people on their own are very rarely able to get out of this state, because it is very convenient for them. You can only leave your comfort zone by receiving friendly help and changing your behavior.

Tips for the human victim

Psychotherapist's advice to a girl with victim syndrome
Psychotherapist's advice to a girl with victim syndrome

Any type of treatment must begin with the patient himself. His attitude to what is happening is very important in the whole situation. Only when people themselves want to leave their imaginary comfort zone will their situation cease to be so critical. Full acceptance of the problem is also necessary in order to understand how to get rid of the victim syndrome.

There are several tips to help a person cope with this condition:

  1. Accept the problem … The whole difficulty lies precisely in the fact that people are very comfortable with their position. It allows you to be a manipulator of the attitude of others, to receive affection and care, and also not to be responsible for difficult decisions. The importance of this point lies in the patient's consent to leave this world of his and look into reality. He must understand that this behavior is wrong and requires correction.
  2. Courage … Such a difficult decision is simply obliged to visit a person. You need to cope with your fears and gradually move into adulthood. It is also very important to be confident in your actions, to say goodbye to the desire for universal recognition and love. Only by realizing that it is also good not to be a sufferer can you achieve any kind of success.
  3. Learn to take responsibility for your actions … It means to stop looking for the guilty in your environment. Every action you take must be justified by your own desire, and not by the help of others. You should definitely get rid of the fear of not pleasing someone. This fact, like nothing else, provokes the prolongation of the pathological condition.

Tips for loved ones of the patient

Mother talking to daughter with victim syndrome
Mother talking to daughter with victim syndrome

In most cases, a person is not very worried about his condition. And the only people who can help him are family and friends. Friends who are worried about this behavior should definitely try to correct it in some way.

The first step is to stop being a passive listener to stories and complaints. You need to stop such an interlocutor and start asking your questions. They need to be serious about responding directly. Their nature can carry reflections on a situation, as well as conclusions drawn. Such a person should be asked about his indecision. Constantly motivate to actively make decisions. Try to arrange a situation that could provoke an action. It is especially good if it will lead to responsibility in the future.

How to get rid of victim syndrome - watch the video:

The victim syndrome is a huge problem in modern society. It deprives young people of the ability to live a fulfilling life and to be an active participant in their destiny. The presence of a variety of clinical manifestations makes it possible to diagnose the condition at its early stages. The therapy that such a person needs is based on extremely simple advice. You just need to carefully monitor the behavior of people from the environment and provide timely assistance.

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