Miscarriage and the consequences of a tragic event for a woman. The article will provide guidance on how to survive an early and late miscarriage. Relatives of the victim of the circumstance will also receive advice on how to support a mother who has lost her child. A miscarriage in women is an ordeal if a failed mother dreamed of a child. During this period of her life, it will be difficult for the victim to put her feelings in order on her own. Consequently, the question arises of what to do in the tragic situation that has arisen.
Features of the psychological state of a woman after a miscarriage
A woman who could not bear a child experiences a whole range of negative emotions. She does not know how to live after a miscarriage, and enters into a kind of vicious circle. Following the observations of specialists, it can be characterized as follows:
- Numbness … Some women, after the tragedy, fall into a real trance. They resemble zombies who do not forget to breathe and eat only when reminded. Such a state speaks of a protective reaction of the nervous system of a failed mother to the grief that happened. Each woman reacts to a miscarriage differently, so numbness should not surprise the close environment of the affected family member.
- Depression … With the loss of a child, most women completely lose interest in life. For some, this goes away relatively quickly, but less strong personalities are able to stay in a similar state for years. The woman experienced a great mental trauma, so she will not be attracted by entertainment for quite a long time.
- Seeking solitude … There are people who, like air, need the support of loved ones when they endured stress. However, there are no identical subjects, therefore, the model of human behavior after the tragedy will also be different. The point here is not at all in temperament, because often a woman of a melancholic temperament experiences grief more easily than an explosive choleric lady.
- Recurring tantrums … There are people who are initially prone to this behavior when the slightest trouble arises. The loss of a child can make a woman of this type a source of endless tears and screams. However, calm women are not always able to courageously endure such a blow of fate.
- Resentment for the whole world … It is very difficult for a girl or lady of a more mature age after a miscarriage to observe playgrounds and couples who walk with strollers. Feelings of injustice simply consume the unfortunate victims of child loss, who lose control over their actions.
- Manic aggression … With this concept, I immediately recall the film by Curtis Hanson, when the pregnant wife of a gynecologist and initiator of sexual harassment in relation to her wards loses a child. In the future, a terrible game begins, at stake is the life of the main accuser of a lustful doctor. The plot is similar to the American film masterpiece and the Russian analogue "You will pay for everything." Consequently, such cases do exist, and it is not possible to dismiss them.
The described miscarriage reactions are not identical, but may involve several of the above. The more coincidences with the voiced, the more dangerous the condition of a woman who has lost the desired child. Manic aggression, on the other hand, can make a formerly sweet woman a real threat to the safety of people.
Stimulants of depression in a woman after a miscarriage
As you know, wood is capable of fanning a real fire from a relatively weak fire. Therefore, it is necessary to deal with the factors provoking the deterioration of the emotional state of a woman after a miscarriage:
- Silencing the problem … Some people from the victim's inner circle begin to behave as if nothing had happened after the tragedy in life. Considering themselves experienced psychologists, they try to show the unhappy woman that nothing terrible has happened. Talking that you will have more children can lead the victim into a state of persistent depression. They do it with the best intentions, which bring the exact opposite result.
- Selfishness of the inner circle … The coldness of a husband or parents after the tragedy that happened can significantly affect the psychological state of a woman who has lost a child. Some of the victim's relatives do not really understand why the incident caused such a resonance in the family. Not finding the necessary support among relatives and friends, the failed mother plunges into depression, from which she can then be brought out only by the help of specialists.
- Condemnation of others … There is nothing worse when, instead of sympathy, the victim who has lost a child hears continuous reproaches. In this case, anyone can say whatever they want and whoever gets into their heads. The world is not without kind people, so a failed mother is able to hear enough about her addictions during pregnancy, about non-observance of the daily routine and ignoring the wise advice of grandmothers at the entrance. Sarcasm in this case hides in itself a very serious problem, when a woman after a miscarriage begins depression after "washing her bones."
- An example of happy families … When everything is all right for yourself, you want to rejoice from the bottom of your heart for others. Exceptions are zealous envious people and bilious people, who are bitterly tormented by the prosperity of others. If a woman has lost a child, then her psyche is often unable to see her friends with children, neighbors with babies, and just strangers with growing offspring. It is not worth judging the victim, because such pictures appearing in front of her gaze cause acute pain to the failed mother.
- Things reminiscent of pregnancy … All of us are sometimes victims of nostalgia for something or feel the influence of déjà vu. Any object that is in any way connected with the tragic circumstances that have occurred can cause torment in the injured person. It is scary to imagine the state of a woman who has lost her child when she sees a positive pregnancy test saved in memory, the first ultrasound scan or a baby dowry.
- Reading books and watching movies on similar topics … Familiarization with the stories that relate to the topic of miscarriages will be a gross mistake for the victim of the tragedy. You can not pour salt on the wound, because this process can turn into a protracted masochism. Comedies in this case are also inappropriate when a woman, after losing her cherished dream of a baby, is ready to grieve for days about what happened.
In all these cases, the wrong behavior of the victim of the tragedy does not always appear, and often there is a strange position of the close circle of the victim in relation to what happened. Consequently, a woman is left alone with her problems, not finding support from family and friends.
How to properly recover a woman after a miscarriage
The instinct of self-preservation should always prompt a person to get out of this critical situation. A potential mother, who was never able to hold her newborn baby to her heart, must sometimes decide for herself what to do after a miscarriage.
Tips for women with early miscarriage
The question of how long it is easier to endure the loss of a child is incorrect, because everything is very individual when something happens. Even a few weeks after conception, some women begin to emotionally feel the unborn baby. When the embryo dies, they should heed the recommendations of psychologists on how to survive an early miscarriage:
- Eliminating guilt feelings … The loss of a child before the 12th week of gestation is not so rare. If you visit the department where women are preserving, then you can see a large number of them precisely at this time. Some of them fail to achieve the desired result, so you should not torture yourself with thoughts about the singularity of your case.
- Taking leave … The empathy of colleagues can be very contradictory and unpredictable, which will only exacerbate the victim's condition. If close people are ready to support a woman, then it is better for her to stay at home within her own walls. After complete physical recovery, you can afford to change the environment with your loved one, which is very often beneficial.
- Conversation with friends in misfortune … Nothing unites people like a similar tragic situation in their lives. Early pregnancy failure is more common than late pregnancy. Consequently, even in a close environment, it is realistic to find a friend who has experienced such grief. Between the affected parties, mutual understanding develops quite quickly, which will help in the future to slightly reduce the pain and disappointment from the loss of the desired baby.
- Self-hypnosis method … Bob Dates, who has been practicing his work for twenty-five years, recommends using this particular tool. He advises you to take a few sheets of paper and write installation sentences on them. They all relate to the fact that the person did everything right and everything will be fine. A woman who has lost her child needs to attach these instructions to her most visited places in the home.
- Keeping a diary … Some people will think this method is somewhat childish. However, in the old days, rather serious individuals entrusted their thoughts and feelings to the diary. When writing about your experiences during the day, you do not need to adjust to the opinion of the public, while remaining yourself. A woman who has suffered a tragedy in life and has withdrawn into herself can entrust all the bitterness of her loss to a simple piece of paper.
- Preparing for a new conception … Definitely, this should not happen in the near future after what happened, therefore it is necessary to wait for the next attempt to become a mother. You should also carefully study what negative factors triggered an early miscarriage. It will not hurt to consult an experienced gynecologist and geneticist, because some inexperienced girls do not even think of registering with an antenatal clinic until 12 weeks after conception. The result is a miscarriage as a result of an irresponsible attitude towards even a planned pregnancy. You need to love your body and what can begin to develop in it. So at the first signs of pregnancy, it is necessary to urgently visit a gynecologist and trust the supervision of a professional.
Tips for women after miscarriage in late pregnancy
If we argue fairly, then if the mother has already felt the movement of her baby inside herself, then the loss of it is felt very sharply. In this case, you should protect your psyche as reliably as possible with the following methods recommended by specialists:
- Chatting with similar topics … The Internet is remarkable in that it presents a lot of options in the provision of information. Among the proposed product, you can pick up a forum where it is a question of how to survive a late miscarriage. In real life, a woman is unlikely to find so many friends in misfortune with such a problem. At a similar forum, she will have the opportunity to discuss her state of mind with the same failed mothers. In addition, the victim of unfortunate circumstances can be encouraged by stories about how the child was safely borne in the future after a miscarriage.
- Recreation … Not only the soul after the loss of a baby at a later date is subjected to a serious test that befell a woman. The body also experienced significant stress, because it was already ready to reproduce a child. Therefore, it is necessary to temporarily limit physical activity and allow your body to completely return to normal.
- Temporary refusal to have sex … If you do not talk for a long time about the physical recovery of a woman's body after the loss of a child, you should think about your psychological state. It is worth waiting for some time with an intimate relationship so that the mental wounds heal. In addition, as practice shows, repeated pregnancy is highly undesirable after tragic events.
- Careful selection of interlocutors … We all know what our inner circle is sometimes capable of. Relatives, as they say, are not chosen, but after a late miscarriage, you need to protect yourself from close-minded or frankly evil people. We cannot be liked by absolutely everyone, therefore secret or explicit ill-wishers with a sharp word (supposedly in support) can cause significant damage to the psyche of the victim of circumstances.
- Finding out the reasons for the miscarriage … In the early stages, such a misfortune happens much more often, so you should understand what happened. To get up twice on the same rake is a very frivolous act. If chronic diseases are the cause of the miscarriage, then you need to seriously take care of your health. When the doctor cannot determine the cause of what happened, then this is not at all an alarming sign, but a confirmation of an accidental coincidence of circumstances.
- Termination of the search for the guilty … After a fight, they don't wave their fists, so you shouldn't become an angel of revenge. Very often, unfortunate mothers fill up all instances with complaints, trying to punish doctors. At the same time, they finally exhaust themselves and subject their nervous system to a serious test.
- Help for the orphanage … It is difficult for a person in grief to feel comfortable around wealthy and happy people. The point in this case is not anger or envy, but an elementary sense of self-preservation. When the heart is bleeding, it is simply unreasonable to demand anything from the injured party. Children abandoned by their parents are also unhappy in their own way, so they will not cause an attack of acute melancholy in an unhappy woman after a miscarriage. Practice shows that many cases have been recorded when, after losing their own child, a couple takes a toddler from an orphanage.
- Refusal or limitation of bad habits … A late miscarriage is a devastating blow to the female psyche. However, drowning grief in wine is the beginning of the end for any human nature. Alcohol does not dull suffering, but simply modifies it for a while, bringing additional problems.
- Psychotherapist help … If a woman does not know how to survive a miscarriage, then she should contact a competent specialist. No need to immediately rush for advice to the first charlatan you come across. There are very few good soul healers, but you need to try to find a real professional. The same forum with the opinions of visitors or recommendations of wise people from the inner circle will help in the search.
How to behave in a supportive woman after a miscarriage
Relatives and friends should be very tactful about the emotional experiences of a woman who has lost a child. Psychologists have developed some ways to help a failed mother:
- Minimum talk about miscarriage … As mentioned above, you cannot completely hide the problem, which is fraught with serious consequences. However, it is simply impermissible to spend hours talking with an unhappy woman on the topic “what if”, “if it were different” and “why”. These are three categorical "no" for loved ones who really want to help a dear person to survive the crisis.
- Organization of joint leisure … Naturally, this isn't about going to a nightclub to try and cheer up the heartbroken woman. She will not dance, she will laugh at the proposed jokes on the verge of hysteria, and at the end of such an event she will simply hate the organizers of such a publication. Evenings with family, which will be based on watching positive films and conversations on neutral topics, will work best. It is possible to visit public places, but before this, close people need to carefully study the proposed program in advance.
- Talking to your doctor … The medical secret has not been canceled, but the gynecologist will not refuse to talk to the child's father. You should clearly find out during the conversation how to help your affected soul mate. She herself may, in a state of passion or numbness, not understand the recommendations of a specialist, which in the future can cause her significant harm.
How to survive a miscarriage - watch the video:
A miscarriage at any stage of pregnancy very often plunges women into an abyss of despair and protest against what happened. If the failed mother is a very strong-minded person on the principle of the main character of the movie "Gone with the Wind", then she herself will cope with the disaster that has befallen her. Otherwise, you will have to seek help from loved ones who will help restore mental strength. However, it is always and everywhere necessary to remember that life is given once and must be lived with dignity and fruitfulness.
